Gratitude

I'm grateful for the moments we spend together after I get home from work. You, crawling around, having a little monkey nom, squealing with joy. Talking at the boob before the milk gets flowin. I miss our long days together, you and me, and knowing just what you need and just what your subtle cues mean. Dada rules that roost now... Mama is just the silent worker, makin the money for you and your awesome stay-at-home dad.

I love you.

sweetness & snuggles

What a beautiful day we had together today. Early wake-up, then you visited your toys in the pack'n'play while I got started on my work. We had a play yard session, and you easily went to sleep after nursing for your first nap. I pumped 6.5 oz after, stored in the freezer for another day.

You went in the walker for a while, scooting up to me, then I wheeled you backwards. You loved it. Tried to chase the cats. Tried to get the guitar. Then your second nap. After rocking getting to sleep, you snuggled down onto my chest. You curled up like a newborn, so sweet, so soft, so much love. In that moment, I just felt you there, felt so much love. Heard cars going by, airplanes overhead, the whole earth spinning and going about its business... but I was with you. Just you and me, that was my world, for that moment. You were snuggled up against my chest, in my arms, asleep. My heart chakra radiated like a sun-star. That moment was so beautiful, brought me to tears. I hope to cherish it forever. I love you.

Bouncing Boo

Four months, and in the 95th percentile for length. Almost too big for your 3-6 month clothes already. Since your recent growth spurt, now your legs are all shaky when you try to stand. But boy oh boy do you love your bouncer!

And chasing the cats... if you could chase. For now you just lunge yourself towards them, in hopes whoever is holding you will understand that it means you want to pet that cat, NOW. And by pet, I mean grab a handful of her fur and pull. Today you gave her a nice pet, though... a nice, soft, non-pulling pet. Then you pulled after a few gentle strokes. Hey, you're the baby, gotta do it.

You started making new sounds yesterday... "bla-bla-bla-bla."

Yesterday we took you to the zoo for the first time. You tried so hard to get to the little chicks! We saw white-cheeked gibbon monkeys -- a momma, a papa, and a youngin. The young monkey was going crazy swinging around on all the branches, then would go to his mama and nurse a little. Then he'd go back to swinging like mad, then nurse a little. I loved it! I was wearing you in the Sleepy Wrap at the time. Soon after, you needed to nurse, too!

Sweet Little Moments

We took a walk to the park today. We sat on the big swing together and swung. Not for too long, cause the sun was way too hot. You were wearing your little butterfly sunhat Great Aunt E got for you from Crazy8. I love that cute little hat. As we walked back, you just stared into my eyes. I loved every moment.

Upon arriving back home, we checked out the garden again. I ate some grapes off the vine. You made happy sounds. I picked four yellow pear tomatoes.

We came inside, you were sleepy from our big adventure. I nursed you, and after a bit you just started looking at me. Then you did the sweetest thing... you lifted your hand, and so softly reached for the short stray hairs that were loosened from my head, petting them ever so gently.

I rocked you to sleep, ahhh-aaaah-ahhh-aaaah. Gave you a bit of dreamy nursing, and now you're taking your afternoon nap... snuggled close to daddy.

I love you.

Growing, Hope

My sweet little girl.

Today, after skipping five days, you finally pooped. You had me worried for a bit, as you usually only skip one day. And man, today was about the only day I wished I had you in a disposable diaper. But you were in a BumGenius 4.0 pocket diaper... it absorbed all the wet, but man there was a lot of solidy stuff to wash off.

Last night I washed laundry and hung it up indoors to dry, which I haven't done very often since you've been born... especially since the hot summer sun dries everything quickly & efficiently. Today I wore the freshly cleaned Sleepy Wrap, and together we watered the garden. You love watching the garden be watered ... I always have to turn so that you can see it, and sometimes water with my left hand, so it's easier for you to watch. At one point you stuck out your hand and felt the spray of the water, which was immensely cute. Only three-and-a-half months old, and already so inquisitive about your surroundings. My favorite part was while I was watering, you put your outstretched hand gently on my forearm, and kept it there until I had to switch hands.

I swear you've grown almost two inches in the last six days, and you've gotten much heavier too. On July 23rd you weighed 13.5 pounds (with clothes), I wonder how much you weigh now.

nursing snuggles

The day after the last post, I talked to your great-grandmother on the phone. She was in the hospital. She really sounded not well, and it got me beyond worried. So I decided that we needed to go visit her! [Too bad you also got the Prevnar and Hib shots that day... :( ... but it was also the day your daddy picked up his new CDs, freshly printed!] We packed everything up, and once you were sleeping, we drove all night so we could see her. I told your uncle k that we were coming, but he didn't end up telling anyone. So when we got to Grandma's house, I went with you back to her room, knocked on the door. She said, "Come in." And in we came. She was so surprised! And you, my little Vrinda, were so excited! You made a happy squealy scream, and then Grandma hugged you and kissed you and talked to you for hours.
Before I took you out of your car seat, actually, after we arrived, I sat your seat down on the ground. Oshii came and gave you a big wet kiss on the cheek, and you made such a big smile! That was your first puppy kiss.

Later that day I found out your great-grandmother was released from the hospital, and was back at home. I was so happy! So Uncle K, Auntie L, Grandma, Dad, you & I all went over to her house. Great Aunt E was there, and your two Great Uncles as well. We sat down right next to great-grandma, and she was over the moon to see you! We surprised her so good!

By the end of our visiting over those four days, I think we really lifted her spirits up. She sounded so much better than she did that Friday, I think we changed fate. Gave her hope. I'm so glad we went. I know she is, too.

loving every moment

You know, I love you. Sleeping next to me in your sweet little elephant shirt. Twitching your fingers in beat with your dreams. So many priceless moments we spend together.

I've decided to start noting points in the day that really make every day worth every penny, especially during my leave from work.

Yesterday, it was after I changed your diaper on the changing table. You were all dressed, I was ready to take you back to the living room. You just stared into my eyes and smiled. Made me the happiest mama in the world. We had a moment for three minutes or so, just staring into each other's eyes, smiling, laughing.

Then later, it was nursing you to sleep, laying on the bed with you. You snuggled me up, and it was so beautiful. I felt so much love radiating.

I love you.